More Is Not Always Better

On beginnings, middles, and ends

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🏛️ Theory

Sometimes it seems like more is always better. We know this isn’t true, but it is easy to believe.

If someone says more money, power, or social status is always better, we reject that out of hand. But do our actions reflect that? Anyway, aren't there better things in life that we always want more of? Consider our relationships, art, or health.

But the Stoics argued that nothing, apart from happiness, is good in every circumstance. 

Consider works of art. We’ve all seen a good movie that could have been a great movie – it was just a tad too long. 

Our relationships offer another useful example here. Spending more time with loved ones isn’t always better – even if we miss them when they’re gone. 

The Stoic philosopher and teacher Marcus Hedahl shared another useful example with me: skiing. Skiing, at least for those who do it well, is bliss. But it’s not meant to last forever. There’s a distinct pleasure in ending the day, taking off one’s boots and returning to the warm indoors. The end itself is part of the joy of skiing. It’s good we are not stuck on the slopes forever. 

I think this point extends to many great activities – perhaps days themselves. They have distinct beginnings, middles, and ends. Many parts of our lives have this shape: our relationships, projects, and even life itself. Each of these changes through time, demand unique things from us, and carry special joys at different times.

So, the Stoics remind us that more is not always better. Let go of the desire for more.

The flip side of that is that when you feel deprived – perhaps because something you love is coming to an end – remember that there can be joy in beginnings and endings too.

🎯 Action

Are you craving more when you shouldn’t be?

Are you missing out on the joy of your particular phase of life, work, or relationships?

🎧️ Listen to one of our conversations with Marcus Hedahl here:

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